How Did You Get Where You Are?
Don’t think location, think situation. If things are not going your way, you might interpret this question as, “How did I get in this mess?” And your “mess” might be a struggling marriage, dissatisfied work, poor health, failing fitness, family stress or simply a lack of motivation.
First, we don’t typically fall apart overnight. The lyrics from Casting Crowns are true –
It’s a slow fade, when you give yourself away
When black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choice is made, a price will be paid
People never crumble in a day, it’s a slow fade
One poor choice leads to another and before we know it, things have gotten out of hand and we tend to give up. Start with one area of focus, your work for example, and ask:
What is one thing I enjoy about this job?
How can I maintain a positive attitude today?
What’s something I can accomplish today?
Who can I help or encourage today?
Like Bob Wiley (Bill Murray) taking the advice of his shrink, Dr. Leo Marvin (Richard Dreyfuss) in the movie “What About Bob,” what baby steps can you take today toward improvement?
Now think of an accomplishment you are enjoying, such as a strong marriage, satisfying work, good health, a sense of fitness, a loving family and a passion for life. Same question: How did you get there? Mostly likely it took determination, patience, perseverance and grit, as well as some of the following:
Communication, unselfishness, prayer
College degree, experience, asking hard questions
Avoiding fast food, no seconds, limiting dessert
Raising your heart rate for 30 minutes 5 days a week
Good or bad, we are a result of our choices. Consistent good choices help us form good habits and routines, which provide positive results. For example, a daily walk with your spouse, even when you don’t feel like it, provides exercise, communication, even a time to pray together. And all of these can help lead to a healthy marriage.
Conversely, a bad day might result in trying to ease the pain with Blue Bell late at night. Then if the following day wasn’t much better, you resolve to hit the Blue Bell again and before long, Blue Bell is a nightly ritual. I know, I’ve been there!
A book that has proved to be insightful and inspirational is Atomic Habits by James Clear:
“In the long run, the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our habits. With the same habits, you’ll end up with the same results. But with better habits, anything is possible.”
Make good choices which can then form better habits. Making good decisions is one of the topics in my book, “What’s Next? Finding the Road to Your Success.” Coming soon, maybe even this week and I’ll be sure to let you know.
Until then, find ways to be positive, encourage others and make it a day worth living.
Make it happen.