Do you have core values?
My wife and I had brunch Saturday with another couple in another city in another state. The wives have been friends for several years having met online when they were both active bloggers. The husbands got to meet for the first time, which can be a little bit of a risk.
On a side note, we have learned that just because my wife has a close friend, that does not mean I will click with the friend’s husband. Similarly, the wives of my close friends are not always a fit with my wife, either. From our experience it is rare that couples are truly close friends with another couple, in which both wives and husbands are close. If you are fortunate to find such a fit, live into it fully because it is not common.
Meanwhile, back at brunch, Dan and I got through the first round of intro’s and then found common ground to discuss family, church, work, and more. One question he asked was if I used core values in my coaching and consulting. I shared that I’m familiar with an organization having core values but not sure I’ve ever heard of personal core values. Tell me more!
Wanting more info, the first article that grabbed my attention was “Personal Core Values List: 100 Examples of Values to Live By,” on the website developgoodhabits.com. The author introduces the concept from the approach that we all have core values that guide our decisions, but we don’t often identify and embrace them. He shares a 4-step process on how to identify your core values, then lists 100 common core values. Another angle is to define core values more on the basis of goals to work toward, areas in which you’d like to grow and improve.
OK, let’s get to the bottom line – Why would you want core values? In the world of mission, vision and purpose statements, adding one more idea will simply muddy the water, right? The exact same thoughts and questions hit me as I continued thinking about core values. And then I stepped back into reality of the daily grind and the thought occurred to me that defined core values might actually assist in wading through the challenges we face.
Dan’s core values were an acronym that spelled out TRUST or TIGER (he is from Oklahoma) or something else with a T in it, I’m sure. My initial draft are the 5 F’s of Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness and Finish.
When I get off the road I should be on and into the ditch due to the crisis of the day, I’m hoping to easily remind myself of what’s most important, starting with my Faith, in which I’m called to Love God and Love People. Then perhaps I can find peace and calm in the chaos and treat people right, regardless of whether I like them or not.
I’m reminded of the words of Christ from the cross, “Father forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing.” And I’m one of those who often don’t know what I’m doing, yet I’m forgiven. The least I can do is return the favor by loving others, which is not easy in these trying times.
Think about your personal core values. There’s more to come on this discussion, but in the meantime, live your life to the fullest with no regrets. Make it happen.